Wholly Patient

       I have had so much on my mind lately that I've wanted to talk about, and now that I am sitting here actually typing, none of it is coming to me... of course. I was sitting in church yesterday and thought about the phrase, 'holy boldness.' What do I have to lose? I have been going to this really small church that I love, and yesterday I went back to the church I grew up in, which is a very large Presbyterian church. During the prayer people were asked to come forward if they wished to lay hands on and pray for a missionary that was visiting yesterday. I was rather disappointed at the fact that we all just stood there and put our hands on him, we did not get the chance to pray for him. Yes, I understand that this is a large church that needs to stick to a schedule, but really...? And I understand that we are praying in our hearts. I guess I just missed my small church where whoever wants has the chance to pray and share what is on their heart. Aren't we denying the body growth when we don't share? So Lord, give me a holy boldness to step forward and share, to go up front and be a testimony to you. Give me wholly boldness in every part of my life to never be shy.
       What do you do when there is something you have wanted for so long and you're sure it's God's will  and then to realize that it may never happen? I mean this mostly considering two different aspects of my life. For the longest time all I have wanted is to get married and move out of Wichita. I am a girl who does relatively well with change and likes to mix things up every couple of years. Maybe what I have is really just a problem with contentment. I have been dating the same guy for 5 years, 9 months, and 20 days (give or take a few weeks :) and I have lived in Wichita for almost 12 years (give or take a few months) I'm ready for the next step! However, I think I'm gonna have to wait...
      
    

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

1. When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio G. Spafford

'Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say...It is well with my soul.' What wonderful peace comes with the true acceptance of the words. 

Am I the only girl out there who can go from 90 miles an hour to tears in nothing flat? Sometimes I don't understand myself, which can be the most aggravating feeling EVER! But... I am beautifully and wonderfully made, and there is always someone who understands me... because He made me this way: intricate and unique. Yes, sometimes this sound SO cliche, but it's true, and deep down I know it's true. I may not understand myself and even frustrate myself with the way I can be, but this is who I am. I am a daughter of God, who created me and loves me through and through with a LOVE that I cannot fathom. He looks and me with a smile on his face... 'Oh my daughter! If you could only understand. You look beautiful in that outfit! Your smile fits you just right! I love how that necklace looks. But, what I really love is your personality. The way you make people smile and ponder the simplest things in your heart. You are a true gem, my dear!' Oh how I long to hear those words in heaven. But, I believe if I listen close enough I can hear them now.

Let's Give it a Go...

So, I have never done this before and thought I would give it a try. Sometimes I have stuff on my mind and heart that I would love to share, but I don't really know who would want to hear about it. Er-go, I have decided to just put it here and see who listens. It may be no one, or it may be something just for you...