Wholly Patient

       I have had so much on my mind lately that I've wanted to talk about, and now that I am sitting here actually typing, none of it is coming to me... of course. I was sitting in church yesterday and thought about the phrase, 'holy boldness.' What do I have to lose? I have been going to this really small church that I love, and yesterday I went back to the church I grew up in, which is a very large Presbyterian church. During the prayer people were asked to come forward if they wished to lay hands on and pray for a missionary that was visiting yesterday. I was rather disappointed at the fact that we all just stood there and put our hands on him, we did not get the chance to pray for him. Yes, I understand that this is a large church that needs to stick to a schedule, but really...? And I understand that we are praying in our hearts. I guess I just missed my small church where whoever wants has the chance to pray and share what is on their heart. Aren't we denying the body growth when we don't share? So Lord, give me a holy boldness to step forward and share, to go up front and be a testimony to you. Give me wholly boldness in every part of my life to never be shy.
       What do you do when there is something you have wanted for so long and you're sure it's God's will  and then to realize that it may never happen? I mean this mostly considering two different aspects of my life. For the longest time all I have wanted is to get married and move out of Wichita. I am a girl who does relatively well with change and likes to mix things up every couple of years. Maybe what I have is really just a problem with contentment. I have been dating the same guy for 5 years, 9 months, and 20 days (give or take a few weeks :) and I have lived in Wichita for almost 12 years (give or take a few months) I'm ready for the next step! However, I think I'm gonna have to wait...